Alhamdulillah.. Demam da semakin baik. Tido da dikurangkan. Kepala da tak pening sangat. Tapi bengang jugak. Tatau knape hati ini gundah gulana. Rasa macam tak bersemangat je. Feel like something wrong is happening to me. Outside i look just typically me, i dun like to share whats goin on in my heart live with those people (just afraid they dun wanna hear - thats one of the purpose i'm writting.. to express to anybody who wants to read) Inside, i'm different. Rase macam nak menjerit je. Kadang-kadang bile dok sorang2 dalam bilik, berkerut-kerut dahi aku thinkin bout these things.

Sejak kecil dulu aku slalu pikir benda yang bila da beso ni aku rase tak patut aku pikir mase aku kecil dulu. It was more like berangan actually.. but it was too far to dream of. I was just like 8, 9 years old when i used to think what will happen to me when i'll be 35. Its not ambition. Its like a vision! Hah! Ngarut, ngarut. Arwah Mak dulu slalu tegur aku mase aku kecik, "Buat ape pikir-pikir benda cam tu?". Buat ape ar? I'm alone. Gap between my siblings and me is quite far, the nearest is 8 years old. Aku tak campur ngan jiran-jiran sebaya, cuma campur ngan dieorg kat skola agama petang je. What else can i do that time? So i was thinkin about everything, from current isues to personal family isues, from myself to my friends, u name it, everyhting. I used to talk to myself, go here and there around my house, talking alone.. until now. Mane tak gugur rambut aku! HaK!

Kenape saye macam itu? Can i just stop thinking and be myself? Mase da beso ni plak, i started thinking things when people give comment on me, i'm like that, i'm like this, they said. "Oh cum on.. give it up. Just know that u cannot accept pressure!"

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
Allahumma laka soumtu
Wa ala rizkika aftaortu

Huh.. Nizar tetibe tercongok depan rumah aku, nak pulang usb aku die pau sebelum cuti ari tu. Kol 4.30 die datang, lepak kat beranda umah sampai la nak dekat bukak pose. Baru nak jiwang-jiwang kat blog. Kontra btol. Nizar datang porak rumah aku. Asek ketawe je! Haha! Tenkiu my fren. At least bersuara jugak aku dengan orang lain (Not talking alone..)